Read & explore together
Preserve friendship through conflict and adversity
Sirach 22:19–26 gives wise sayings about friendship under strain. It shows how words and actions can wound, how some breaks may be repaired, and how loyalty matters when a friend is in hardship.
Understanding the passage
Listening in context
This passage comes from Sirach, a book in the Catholic additional books. Here the writer speaks in short comparisons and direct advice about friends, neighbours, insults, trust, poverty, affliction, reconciliation, and the danger that conflict can grow worse. [Sirach 22:19, Sirach 22:20, Sirach 22:22, Sirach 22:23, Sirach 22:24]
Sirach 22:19–26Main takeaway
This passage teaches that friendship needs careful speech, trustworthy conduct, and steadfastness in times of trouble.
Look closely at the words
Open a card to explore the full explanation and its Bible references.
01Wounds can be seen in a friend’s responseThe first sayings compare harm done to the eye and harm done to the heart. Pricking an eye brings tears, and pricking the heart brings feelings out into the open.
Explanation
The first sayings compare harm done to the eye and harm done to the heart. Pricking an eye brings tears, and pricking the heart brings feelings out into the open. The point is that hurtful treatment has visible effects, even when the wound is inward rather than physical. [Sirach 22:19]
02Insults can drive friendship awaySirach next compares throwing stones at birds with insulting a friend. Birds scatter when frightened, and friendship can dissolve when a friend is insulted.
Explanation
Sirach next compares throwing stones at birds with insulting a friend. Birds scatter when frightened, and friendship can dissolve when a friend is insulted. The passage treats speech seriously. Words are not small here. They can break closeness just as surely as an action can scatter a flock. [Sirach 22:20]
03Some conflicts may be repaired, but some acts destroy trustThe passage then allows hope. If someone has drawn a sword against a friend or spoken against a friend, there may still be a way back and there may be reconciliation.
Explanation
The passage then allows hope. If someone has drawn a sword against a friend or spoken against a friend, there may still be a way back and there may be reconciliation. Yet it names actions that make a friend flee: insulting, arrogance, disclosing a secret, and a treacherous blow. These are presented as especially destructive to friendship. [Sirach 22:21, Sirach 22:22]
04Stand by friends in hardship and avoid escalating conflictSirach urges a person to gain trust with a neighbour in poverty and stay steadfast in affliction.
Explanation
Sirach urges a person to gain trust with a neighbour in poverty and stay steadfast in affliction. Loyalty is shown especially in hard times. Then comes a warning: insults can come before bloodshed, like smoke before fire. The speaker closes by saying he will shelter a friend, yet if evil comes because of that friend, others will beware of him. [Sirach 22:23, Sirach 22:24, Sirach 22:25, Sirach 22:26]
Questions to explore
Pause, look back at the verses and talk together.
01Which comparisons in this passage show the effect of hurting a friend?
Look at the images of the eye, the heart, and frightened birds to see how Sirach describes emotional injury and broken friendship. [Sirach 22:19, Sirach 22:20]
02According to this passage, when is there still hope for reconciliation, and what actions make a friend flee?
Notice both sides of the teaching: verses 21–22 say there may be a way back, but they also list specific behaviours that destroy trust. [Sirach 22:21, Sirach 22:22]
03How does this passage describe faithfulness to a friend during hard times?
Focus on the instructions about poverty, affliction, sheltering a friend, and the warning that insults can grow into greater harm. [Sirach 22:23, Sirach 22:24, Sirach 22:25]
Read the Bible passage
World English Bible ClassicScripture quotation · Public domain
Sirach 22:19–26
19He who pricks the eye will make tears fall. He who pricks the heart makes it show feeling.
20Whoever casts a stone at birds scares them away. He who insults a friend will dissolve friendship.
21If you have drawn a sword against a friend, don’t despair, for there may be a way back.
22If you have opened your mouth against a friend, don’t be afraid, for there may be reconciliation, unless it is for insulting, arrogance, disclosing of a secret, or a treacherous blow— for these things any friend will flee.
23Gain trust with your neighbor in his poverty, that in his prosperity you may have gladness. Stay steadfast to him in the time of his affliction, that you may be heir with him in his inheritance.
24Before fire is the vapor and smoke of a furnace, so insults precede bloodshed.
25I won’t be ashamed to shelter a friend. I won’t hide myself from his face.
26If any evil happens to me because of him, everyone who hears it will beware of him.